Now THAT is a Secret!
by Cam Brydges
Summary: Xellos has a BIG secret, and the Slayers gang just has to know! But first, they have to do a bit of traveling to find him. Then he will tell them that...well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret! PG for possible swearing. Please review ^_^
1. Off we go!

Now THAT is a Secret!  
  
Chapter 1: Off we go!  
  
Disclaimer: Why do I have to put this, anyway? I obviously don't own Slayers! If I did, I wouldn't make a fanfic, I would just make an episode about it instead! Oh well. I shall put this elegantly: IT AIN'T MINE! Thank you.  
  
**************  
  
*Chomp gobble snarf* Went Lina and Gourry as they wolfed down their food. Amelia, Filia, and Zelgadis stared at them with the same green tinge on their faces. They didn't dare touch their food for fear that Lina and Gourry should finish theirs and move to their plates, accidentally swallowing a piece of them.  
  
"Must...you eat like starved badgers?" Zelgadis said.  
  
"Um, Ms. Lina? Mr. Gourry? Are you able to breathe alright like that?" inquired Amelia.  
  
"*Chomp gobble chomp* *GAAASP!* We...huff huff...can breathe just fine Amelia! Are you going to eat that sushi?" said Lina.  
  
Amelia shook her head and pushed her plate towards Lina, only to pull her hand back quickly to avoid the fork that had just hit the plate. Filia jumped a bit, then reached for her cup of tea. She was about to sip it when she gasped and dropped it back on the table.  
  
"What is is, Filia?" asked Gourry between bites of his food, "Is something wro-"  
  
"SSSHHHHH!" Filia cut him off, "Quiet! My namagomi sense is tingling!" (Hee hee, I love puns, don't you? ^_^)  
  
Filia slowly reached for her mace, and then got up and sniffed around like a dog with an interesting scent. She turned a bit, then suddenly hurled her mace across the restaurant and straight towards one of the menu's, which happened to be hiding the face behind it. Just before Mace- sama hit it's target, the person disappeared only to reappear above Filia's head. The mace kept going and smashed into a wall, knocking it down and revealing a stunned and very embarrassed customer doing his...erm...duty.  
  
"My, my, Filia! I knew you dragons weren't very coordinated, but I suppose the wall was the only thing big enough for you not to miss!" Xellos said with a cheesy grin on his face.  
  
Filia ran across to Mace-sama, picked it up, then charged Xellos. She swung at him, but he teleported out of the way. This went on for about 10 minutes, until Filia finally screamed in frustration and swung with all her might. Right into where Xellos had just reappeared. The sound it made when Xellos was hit was deafening, and Xellos went flying right through the one wall that didn't have a hole in it yet. In the background, you could hear the owner crying.  
  
"Ha! *huff huff* I FINALLY got you!" Filia said, gasping for breath. When she was done, she went back to their miraculously undamaged table, and took a sip of her tea. Lina and Gourry finished their food, then looked about the room with wide eyes.  
  
"What happened in here? It looks like a pig sty!" Lina said, as the rest of the people sweatdropped.  
  
"I finally got the namagomi!" Filia beamed with triumph.  
  
"Ahh! That was some mighty good negative energy!" Xellos said as he appeared behind Filia, completely unharmed.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHGGH!" Filia screamed in disgust, "How? How did you...? WHY MEEEEEE???" Filia sobbed.  
  
"Mmm! Dessert!" Xellos said.  
  
"Mr. Xellos? Why are you here?" Amelia asked.  
  
"Because he wanted to annoy Filia, why else?" Lina answered for him.  
  
"Actually, Lina-chan, I want-"  
  
"Do NOT call me chan!" Lina growled, giving Xellos the death glare.  
  
"Sorry, Lina...CHAN!" Xellos said, then quickly teleported to avoid the fork that went flying through the air.  
  
"Actually, I wanted to tell you that I have a secret! The BIGGEST secret of all! And it's about one of you!" He said after he reappeared.  
  
"About who, exactly?" asked Zelgadis.  
  
"Sore wa himitsu desu!" Xellos replied with a cheesy grin.  
  
"Sore wa himitsu desu!" Lina imitated while rolling her eyes. "Just tell us what it is, fruit boy!"  
  
"Oh, I will! As soon as you can find me! We're gonna play a game of hide and seek, and the world is my hiding place! I'll be somewhere, hiding. I'll have clues set out for you in different places. I hope you have fun! Here's your first one: Dynast's domain. Have fun!"  
  
"WAIT! Where does Mr. Dynast live?"  
  
Filia crept up behind Xellos, and raised Mace-sama with an evil grin on her face. "Sore wa himitsu desu!" Xellos said once more with a cheesy grin, then teleported just as Mace- sama came down full force, making a large hole in the floor.  
  
"Well, good riddance. Maybe we'll finally be rid of him for a while." Zelgadis said sipping his coffee.  
  
"Yeah, maybe." Lina agreed, "Okay, let's go!"  
  
"WHAT?" the group said in unison.  
  
"I have to know the secret! After all, I might need to blackmail one of you someday, and a good secret would be just perfect. Besides, I'm curious." Lina said, as she got up and walked to where the door used to be.  
  
The rest of the group sighed and got up and followed. After all, they couldn't have Lina dragon slaving every town and city trying to find Xellos.  
  
"Well, if I'm not mistaken, I believe Dynast lives at the north pole." said Zelgadis.  
  
"How do you know that?" asked Lina.  
  
"I read it in the Clair Bible."  
  
"Uh-huh... well, I guess it's off to the north pole! Filia, do your stuff!"  
  
"What?" Filia asked.  
  
"You know! Dragon, wings, flap flap, quick travel?"  
  
"Oh, right!" Filia said, as she went out into the street and transformed into her dragon form. "Everybody on! And watch the hair!"  
  
Lina, Gourry, Zelgadis, and Amelia climbed on to Filia's back and held on tight as she flapped her wings. She got into the air, and flew into the distance, on her way to the North Pole!  
  
"Miss Filia? North is the other way." Amelia said.  
  
"OH!, Right!" Filia replied, turning around.  
  
**************  
  
Oh, that was a bit of a stupid chapter, but I've never been good at beginnings. I'll make the next one better, I promise! ^_^ *coughreviewcough* (I'm not giving hints, honest!) 


	2. Brr! It's cold up here!

First, the tiresome disclaimer: I don't own Slayers. Or the North Pole.  
  
Chapter 2: Brr! It's cold up here!  
  
**************  
  
"I'm...so...cold!" chattered Lina from atop Filia's back. They had reached the North Pole, and were now frozen half to death.  
  
"M-mr. Zelgadis, h-h-how much f-farther do you think Mr. D-dynast's house is? J-j-justice isn't k-keeping me very w-warm."  
  
"I-it s-s-should be near h-here."  
  
"Would you quit complaining back there? I'm cold and I have to do the flying!" Filia yelled.  
  
"Y-you don't s-s-sound very c-cold, F-filia." Gourry said  
  
"That's because my teeth are frozen. If they chatter they might break."  
  
"THERE IT IS!" Lina yelled, grinning like an idiot, "AND THERE'S SMOKE COMING OUT OF THE CHIMNEY! Ahhh, we'll be warm again!"  
  
Filia flew over to Dynasts house, landing just in front. After she transformed into her human form again, they walked over to his house.  
  
"Warm warm warm, we will be warm!" Lina sang as she danced about in the snow.  
  
They knocked on Dynasts door, and heard the sound of footsteps. Dynast opened the door, and looked down at them.  
  
"I'm guessing you're Lina and friends, right?" he said. "Here. Zelas' purple haired fruitcake said to give you this." He handed them a note that had Xellos' writing on it. "Now go away."  
  
"But if we could jus come in for a minute..." Lina said  
  
"No. Goodbye." He said as he shut the door in their faces.  
  
"Why you...well, if I can't be warm, neither can you! FIREBALL!" she yelled, as she incinerated Dynasts house.  
  
"YOU LITTLE HUMAN! HOW DARE YOU!" Dynast bellowed, his eyes glowing blood red.  
  
"You don't scare me!" Lina yelled back, "I've pissed of my sister and lived to tell about it! YOU'LL BE A PIECE OF CAKE!"  
  
"AHHHH!" The rest of the group yelled.  
  
"Hehe, please excuse us Mr. Dynast-sama, she hasn't had her medication yet, bye!" Amelia said quickly as they scurried off into the distance, dragging a still angry Lina behind them.  
  
"YOUR MOTHER WEARS COMBAT BOOTS!" Lina managed to yell before they were out of Dynasts hearing range.  
  
After running for a while, Amelia finally let Lina go. They rested for a while, then remembered the note.  
  
"I have it here." Said Zelgadis.  
  
"What does it say?" Gourry asked.  
  
"Hmm...it says 'Go to the island of my birth. Signed, Xellos.'"  
  
"Ooohhh, that little namagomi! He was born on Wolfpack Island! Maybe he's there! I'LL FINALLY GET HIM!" Filia exclaimed, imagining what she was going to do to Xellos. She smiled evilly. She quickly transformed to dragon, then said "Hurry! Everyone on my back! We're going to Wolfpack Island!"  
  
The group climbed on her back, then Filia took off and started flying off again. Then, Xellos appeared beside them.  
  
"My, my, Filia! You really do have a bad sense of direction, don't you? Wolfpack is that way!" He said, pointing to her right and smiling cheesily.  
  
"NAMAGOMI!" she shrieked, letting loose a laser breath.  
  
"And your breath stinks, to!" Xellos said again, "See you later, Filia- chan!"  
  
"Do NOT call me chan!"  
  
"Alright...chanchanchanchanchan!" Xellos said, then disappeared.  
  
"Well, we're off to Wolfpack Island!" Amelia exclaimed.  
  
**************  
  
C-sama: Ok, that was a pretty short chapter. I'll try and make the next one extra long. ^_^ 


	3. The castle is WHERE?

Disclaimer (yet again): I don't own Slayers.yet.MUAHAHAHAAA!  
  
Chapter 3: The castle is WHERE!?  
  
**************  
  
"Huff...huff...I...thought it was closer..." Filia panted as the gang flew over the ocean.  
  
"Brr! It's cold here to! What season is it there, Ms. Filia?" Amelia asked.  
  
"Winter." She replied.  
  
"WHAT? MORE COLD? And just when I though I'd be warm again." Lina sulked.  
  
They flew for a few more minutes, when Gourry saw something in the distance.  
  
"What's that? Is that Woolmack Inland?" He asked.  
  
"It's called Wolfpack Island, you jellyfish brain!"  
  
"That's it! Finally, I'll be able to rest! My poor aching wings...ooh, when I get my hands on that namagomi, I'll make him pay for making me fly all the way here!"  
  
Filia flew above Wolfpack, and circled the island, looking for a landing pad. After going around it a few times, she found a suitable spot.  
  
"Hang on! We're gonna land!" Filia yelled as she decended.  
  
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Her terrified passengers screamed as she dove towards the ground. She slowed at the last second, landing gracefully on the ground. The rest stumbled off her back, their hair standing on end. After everyone was off, she transformed back to her human form.  
  
"Well, that was a pretty smooth landing if I do say so myself." She said, beaming with pride. Lina was the first to regain her composure.  
  
"Smooth landing? SMOOTH LANDING? YOU CALL THAT SMOOTH? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" she yelled to Filia, the vein in her forehead twitching.  
  
"Filia..." Zelgadis asked, "Could you not have landed more SOFTLY? I'm 1/3 golem and it hurt!"  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis, don't yell at Ms. Filia like that. It's very unjust." Amelia said.  
  
"Amelia? Cram it!" Lina said, as she stomped off toward the bushes. "C'mon, we may as well get...huh?...are these...AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lina shrieked as she jumped into Gourry's arms. "EWW! EWW! SLUGS! GET THEM AWAY FROM ME! GET ME SOME SALT! DO SOMETHIIIIING!" She cried, clinging to Gourry.  
  
"*sigh* Fireball!" Zelgadis said, killing off the slugs.  
  
"Ahh. Thank you. Huh? GOURRY? Would you let go of me? What's the big idea, carrying me like that!?" Lina said, with a small blush on her face.  
  
"What did I do?" Gourry said, puzzled.  
  
"Can we go now? I wanna find the namagomi so I can kill him!" Filia said, walking down the path the fireball had made.  
  
"Yeah! Let's search for the clue! We will surely find it, for we have Justice to help us!" Amelia said, striking a pose.  
  
"Oh for the love of L-sama..." Lina said, her, Gourry, and Zelgadis following.  
  
**************  
  
"Uuhhg! Where is it? We've been walking for hours! I'm tired, and I'm hungry!" Lina complained, trudging along with everybody else.  
  
"It should be somewhere around here. I'm sure I smell the stink or the namagomi." Filia replied.  
  
"What are we looking for?" Gourry asked.  
  
"For the fifth time, we need to find Zelas, one of the Mazoku Lords." Zel growled.  
  
"Oh. Does she have whitish hair?" Gourry asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And a bandana?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And is she a smoker?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And is she really tall?"  
  
"Yes...Gourry, where are you getting this all from?"  
  
"I saw a castle with a picture of her on it by where we landed."  
  
"You...WHAT?" Lina yelled, glaring at Gourry. "Are you telling me we walked all this way for NOTHING? Oohhh, THAT is IT! MEGA BRANDO!"  
  
"AAAAAHHHHH! *boom* Ouchie..." Gourry said as he came crashing back down.  
  
"*sigh* Well, let's go back." Zelgadis said. They turned around and started walking back the way they came.  
  
**************  
  
"Ok, Mr.Gourry. Where is the castle?" Amelia asked  
  
"Right over here!" he said, leading them through a grove of trees.  
  
"FINALLY!" Lina said.  
  
"Maybe the namagomi's in there! C'mon! Lets go lets go lets go!" Filia said, running into the castle.  
  
"Wait for us!" The rest yelled, running after her.  
  
**************  
  
"Namagooomiiiiiii?" Filia called, peeking into various rooms as the traveled down the corridor.  
  
"Where is that Zelas? I want that clue!" Lina growled.  
  
They walked to the end of the corridor. At the end, they found a large door. They opened it up, and walked inside, finding themselves in a massive throne room.  
  
"Whoa!" Gourry exclaimed.  
  
"Who are you?" said a voice. The group looked towards the middle of the room, and saw a figure sitting in a throne.  
  
"We're looking for a purple-haired fruitcake named Xellos. Ya seen him?" Lina asked.  
  
"Careful what you say, human. That 'fruitcake' is my General and Priest. And he left a long time ago. He left this note for you." Zelas said, handing Lina the note.  
  
"Hmm...go to the island famouse for it's healing hot springs...hey! That's Mipross Island! I went there with Naga once! If I remember right, the hot springs were man made."  
  
"Who's Naga?" Gourry asked.  
  
"Oh, she and I used to travel together. She was always following me around."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Let's go!" Filia said impatiently "I wanna find the namagomi?"  
  
"Who is the namagomi?" Zelas asked with a menacing glare on her face.  
  
"Uhh...hehe...the namagomi is...my...mother-in-law! Yeah, that's it!" Filia said with a frightened smile on her face.  
  
"Uh-huh..." Zelas replied, looking unconvinced.  
  
"Well, we really must be going! Bye!" Filia said, running back down the hall, dragging Lina and crew with her.  
  
"Well, we're off to Mipross Island!" Amelia said.  
  
"Would you quit saying that?" Lina growled.  
  
And with that, they emerged into the sunlight, Filia transformed, and they flew off towards Mipross Island.  
  
"Hey, Filia? Mipross Island is the other way." Lina said.  
  
"Why do you people never tell me these things until AFTER I've started flying?" Filia said with a groan.  
  
**************  
  
C-sama: There, and extra long chapter, just like I said ^_^ What will they find when they go to Mipross? Well, you'll have to wait to find out! Please read and review! Thanks! 


	4. Long time no see

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers. Now, picture this on every other chapter from now on so I don't have to keep writing it.  
  
Now THAT is a Secret!  
  
Chapter 4: Long time no see  
  
**************  
  
"Let me see.if I'm right, Mipross Island is just up a- ...THERE IT IS!" Lina cried.  
  
"It's about time!" Filia growled, "My wings are killing me!"  
  
"Now, Filia, why don't we try making it a soft landing this time, shall we?" Lina said, with a menacing glare on her face.  
  
"Oh come on, it wasn't THAT bad, was it?"  
  
Filia circled the island, and found a beach to land on. This time, she landed with little more than a small thud. Her passengers jumped off her back, and then she transformed and immediately started looking around for Xellos.  
  
"Where are you, Namagomi? I know you're here, I can smell you!" she said, sniffing the air and readying Mace-sama.  
  
"Well, well, Filia-chan! I'm surprised you can smell at all considering the stench you dragons give off!" Xellos said from behind her as he ducked under a swing from Mace-sama. "And still no coordination! You really need practice, Filia- chan!"  
  
"Grrrr...Do...not...call me...CHAAAAAAAN!" Filia said, quickly returning to her dragon form and smashing her fist into the ground, just missing Xellos. "COME BACK HERE! I HAVEN'T KILLED YOU YET! COME BAAAACK!" She roared, taking flight. She chased Xellos back and forth for several minutes.  
  
"*sigh* Are we gonna have to watch them do this every time?" Gourry asked.  
  
"Probably." Zelgadis replied.  
  
"Well, Ms.Lina, where is the next clue supposed to be at?"  
  
"I don't know. I was gonna ask Xellos, but then Filia went berserk. Well, I might as well stop her." Lina said, as she walked a bit further along the beach. "SHADOW SNAP!" she cast, stopping Filia in mid-air.  
  
"Huh? What are you doing? LET ME GO!" Filia raged, struggling to get free.  
  
Lina walked over to Xellos, and asked, "So, where is the next 'clue', fruit boy?"  
  
"Oh, I've hidden it somewhere on the island! Won't it be fun to find?"  
  
"And where, exactly, did you hide it?"  
  
"Sore wa himitsu desu!" Xellos said with a cheesy grin, and wagging his finger side to side.  
  
"Why you! FIREBALL!" Lina yelled, but Xellos teleported away before the spell went off. "Grr...this had better be a damn good secret for all this trouble we're going through! Huh? Oh. Filia. Lighting."  
  
Filia fell to the ground, now free of the shadow snap. She made a loud thud, then transformed into her human form, rubbing her head.  
  
"Ms.Lina, where did Mr.Xellos say the clue was?" Amelia asked.  
  
"It's somewhere on the island." She replied.  
  
"WHAT! Mipross is a huge island! It could take days to find!" Zelgadis exclaimed.  
  
"Exactly. So we better get started now."  
  
They walked...and (in Filia's case) stomped...up the beach towards the forest. They had a lot of ground to cover, so they decided to split up and meet back at the hot springs later.  
  
**************  
  
"So, did you find anything?" Lina asked.  
  
"No." said Zelgadis.  
  
"Uh-uh." answered Gourry.  
  
"Sorry, no." replied Amelia.  
  
"Nope." Filia said.  
  
"Great. We're gonna be here forever!" Lina growled, "Well, I'm going to the hot springs to relax. If you wanna join me, then c'mon."  
  
They all walked to the hot springs, and, after changing into their bathing suits (conveniently stuffed in their pockets), they got in.  
  
"So, Lina, you said you've been here before. When?" Gourry asked.  
  
"Well, it was about a year before I met you. When I was still traveling with Naga."  
  
"Naga?" Gourry asked, confused.  
  
"She followed me everywhere. She was a good friend, but she could really get on your nerves. She had an over-inflated chest, she always had me pay for her food, and she had the most annoying, high pitched laugh."  
  
"OOOOOHOHOHOHOHO!"  
  
"Say, Gourry, that's exactly what it sounded like! How did you get your voice so high?"  
  
"I didn't do it." Gourry said, looking confused again.  
  
"But if you didn't..."  
  
"OOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO! Well, if it isn't Lina Inverse! Where have you been all this time? Hunting for treasure I'll bet!"  
  
"Uh...uh...hi Naga...long time no see, ehhehehe..." Lina stammered.  
  
"Is that how you greet people, Lina? OOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO!" Naga asked, "And still haven't developed, I see!"  
  
"You think so, too?" asked Gourry.  
  
"SHUT UP, JELLYFISH BRAINS! Naga, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Well, I was traveling through the hot springs of the world again! Who'd of thought I would meet my old traveling companion here! OOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO!"  
  
"That laugh...my ears..." Zelgadis winced, along with everyone else except Lina.  
  
"Ms.Lina, how can you stand that laugh?" Amelia whispered.  
  
"I've had to listen to it a LOT. I've gotten used to it. Anyways, Naga, we're not looking for treasure. We're looking for a piece of paper with a clue on it. There's a purple haired Mazoku fruitcake that has a big secret, and we HAVE to know it!"  
  
"You mean you have to know it..." Zelgadis muttered.  
  
"A piece of paper? OOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO! Is this what your looking for?" Naga said, holding up a piece of paper.  
  
"YES! Give it to me!" Lina said, jumping out of the hot springs.  
  
Naga gave the paper to Lina, who quickly read it.  
  
"Hey! I know where this is!"  
  
"What does it say, Lina?" Filia asked.  
  
"It says 'Go to the town famous for it's grapes.'. That's Zefilia! I grew up there!"  
  
"So, now we have to go to Zefilia? And where is that, exactly?" Zelgadis asked.  
  
"Oh, north of Elmekia." Lina replied.  
  
"But...but...BUT THAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CONTINENT! I don't want to fly that faaaaaaar!" Filia sobbed.  
  
"Well, I guess we're going to Zefilia next." Gourry said.  
  
The group finished in the hot springs, then got dressed and returned to the beach they had landed on. Filia transformed into her dragon form, and they all hopped on.  
  
"Ok, Filia, whenever you-"  
  
"OOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO! Now, now, you weren't thinking about leaving without me, were you, Lina-chan?"  
  
"Grk...Naga? You want to come? Why? There's no treasure!" Lina said.  
  
"That's just what you want me to believe, isn't it? Well, you aren't going to fool me, Lina Inverse!" Naga said, hopping on to Filia's back.  
  
"Is she coming too?" Filia asked meekly.  
  
"Sadly, I think so Ms.Filia." Amelia replied. "She looks awfully familiar..."  
  
"*sigh* All right. Tell me which way Zefilia is BEFORE I take off this time!"  
  
"OOOOOOHOHOHOHO! It's that way!" Naga said, pointing to her left.  
  
"Ok." Filia said, taking to the air.  
  
"Filia? A word of advice. Don't listen to Naga's directions. Zefilia is that way." Lina said, pointing behind them."  
  
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!" Filia screamed, turning around.  
  
"Well, we're off to Zefilia!" Amelia exclaimed.  
  
"I TOLD YOU TO STOP SAYING THAT!" Lina yelled.  
  
**************  
  
C-sama: Well, who'd of thought they'd meet Naga there? Well...me for one...and you might have because of the title...Oh well! 


End file.
